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Live Slow

If you know me, you probably know that I have a little obsession with sloths. It began with some dear friends several years ago at a restaurant in Boston, and that’s all I’m gonna tell ya about that.

Since that time, I’ve collected a few sloth items. (I may have taken the obsession a little farther than my friends.) Among these sloth items is a sweatshirt from etsy that, adorned with a hanging sloth, says “Live Slow.” I love it! (Thanks mom.)

I wore this sweatshirt last week on a rainy day. My little guy and I met a friend for lunch at a local coffee shop. After lunch, we ran through the rain to the parking garage where my car was, planning to head down the road for our weekly Target excursion. I realized that the kiddo needed to eat, so instead of putting him in his car seat, I pulled him into the front seat with me and nursed him. Since he was over due for a nap, he quickly fell asleep. I knew he needed it, so I sat in the car for 1.5 hours and let him sleep in my arms, while I perused the interwebs on my iPhone. (What did we do before iPhones?!)

I looked down at my shirt. “Live slow.” I thought, “yep. I’m doing it.”

I then started contemplating the life of a sloth. The word slothful means “the quality or state of being lazy.” Sloth is one of the 7 deadly sins (whatever those are about…). But guys, sloths are not lazy or sinful (obviously, they are animals). They are exactly what they were created to be. They don’t run around wasting their energy on unimportant things. They do what matters, when it matters. It’s a slow life. But it’s a good life.

And I’m realizing, as I enter this phase of life, that I don’t want to be slothful, but I do want to be like a sloth. I want to do a few things that really matter and I want to do them really well. I do not want to waste my time running around doing unimportant things.

I’m not saying a fast paced life is a bad thing. I’ve had plenty of seasons that were really busy and fast paced, and needed to be. I may have more of them in the future. But for now, especially as a new mom… I feel personally compelled to learn from sloths, “live slow,” and do a few important things really well.

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^ a sloth we watched moving along when we were on our honeymoon in Costa Rica

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a love that overtakes me

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Almost 20 weeks ago now, this fellow came into the world and changed my life – forever. I became a mama and I fell in love in a way I could never have imagined. It’s a love that overtakes me when I’m beyond exhausted and my little dude wakes me up, again, needing some snuggles and a paci or a middle of the night snack. It’s a love that makes it so very natural (even though it’s so very hard) to sacrifice my own desires/needs and take care of his first. It’s a love that delights in every little thing that he does and every part of who he is. I’m smitten and there’s no amount of his scream crying or my sleep deprivation that could change that. It doesn’t matter that I’ve tried to write this post 5 different times and I always have to stop because my baby needs me. I miss having time to write and create different things, but I know it is just a season. I also know that when this season is over, I’ll miss the little baby cuddles more than I currently miss having a clean kitchen or sitting as long as I’d like in a coffee shop with my journal and a good book.

This love has taught me so much about my Jesus and the way He has forever loved me and you. My love for my baby is big, but it is so tiny in comparison. (People say these things all the time, but now I get it…)

This love has taught me that true sacrifice always flows from true love, and that you can’t have true love without true sacrifice. (I feel like I should have so much more to say about this, but I just can not find the words. Could be the sleep deprivation, could be that it’s just too big for words.)

Now, this sweet boy needs some attention… But hopefully, I’ll be back soon (even if I have to write on my iphone while nursing my boy, like now. The multitasking mama life.).

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a numbered list of pregnancy randomness

A numbered list of pregnancy randomness. {In other words, don’t expect anything profound here.}

1. I read somewhere that the average pregnant woman’s brain capacity decreases by 4%. (Don’t worry. It usually returns to normal post pregnancy.) I have no means through which to make such calculations, but I am feeling the famous “pregnancy brain” for sure.

2. Everyone always talks about how beautiful and amazing pregnancy is. I’m SO on board with that. It’s all very true. But can we just talk some about how so very WEIRD it is. Little tiny people grow inside of us, full size, people. And they TAKE OVER OUR BODIES. [I’m not complaining. It’s all worth it, for sure. I’m just saying…]

3. JUST now, for example, my little guy wiggled and my whole belly moved. My body moved guys, but I didn’t move it. HE did. I love that. AND it’s WEIRD!!!!

4. For some reason, I always want to spell belly with an IE at the end. It’s weird. I’d like to blame it on pregnancy brain but it’s probably at least half more about my life-long struggle with homophones.

5. My due date is in 8 weeks. That feels both REALLY soon and SO far away. It’s REALLY soon when I think about all the things I still need to do, all the STUFF we still need to acquire. It feels REALLY soon when I think about the potential of him coming 2 weeks early. That’s only 6 WEEKS. It feels SO far away when I think about it as 2 months from now. 2 more months of being pregnant? I’d rather not. When I think about the possibility of him arriving 2 weeks LATE… Well, 10 weeks feels like an eternity.

6. One of my favorite things about being pregnant is that I’m not the only one. Several of my dearest friends are pregnant too! They keep me sane. We text all the time about all the weird things that these kiddos are doing to our bodies. It’s so comforting to hear the “me too!” and the “YES… and this too!” Becoming a mother alongside close friends (though separated by miles) is so delightful! I love shared experiences.

7. I just have to say, that my husband is super fantastic at dealing with all my insanity (only some of which is due to pregnancy). It just reaffirms a million times over that he is going to be an awesome father, as well as husband… for the long haul!

I’ve learned some deeper things through this experience of pregnancy as well…
But, I couldn’t write about those without first acknowledging these things. :)

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a place of rootedness

Written 2/23/14

I’m sitting on the floor in the hall of our new house. My husband is doing some painting touch-ups in our son’s bedroom.

Those two sentences BLOW my mind.

I spent nearly 3 decades of my life husbandless and have had this amazing husband for 1 year and 4 months. I still am amazed that the Lord saw fit to bring us together, and make us one.

Now, this short time later, I’ve got a baby in my womb. [I think womb is a funny word and am determined to say it as much as possible while I have the excuse. You are welcome.] He will make his appearance into our world probably sometime between 3 and 4 months from now. That’s nuts. I have a child, a son. He’s making me huge, and kicking around at my insides this very moment. And I love him, though I don’t yet KNOW him.

And… we have a house! And it’s OURS [and the bank’s… but whatever].

When Jon and I got married, I moved into his apartment. So, we made space to fit me in and we/I changed and added to the décor to make it OURS and not just HIS. This feels so different than that. That was temporary and we constantly considered the temporal aspects of it. This feels like a HOME for our family to dwell in and to grow in, not forever, but for a good while.

This is a place of rootedness… and I think it’s a physical symptom of a spiritual reality.

Jon and I (separately and together) have never dreamed of being home-owners. In fact, we dreaded the thought. We’ve been mobile people who love the ability to get up and go when and where opportunities open up.  “Putting down roots” somewhere sounded lovely, but mostly for other people. When we began talking about the possibility of purchasing a home, it made us feel a bit claustrophobic. {Though I will admit, there has been a part of me that has always longed to settle somewhere.}

We also knew we didn’t want to stay in our two bedroom townhome apartment for too much longer and that buying a house made sense for us financially, much more so than renting a house would. I’m certain, however, that the reason home-ownership began to be less claustrophobia causing was actually spiritual.

Rootedness has been a theme in our lives and marriage. It’s not a rootedness in Nashville, and it’s not even a rootedness in each other. This rootedness is one that can only be in Christ and by Christ.

I know I don’t fully comprehend what He has done, is doing and will do, as our roots grow deep into Him. I know that a large part of it is happening through the Body He has placed us in here in Nashville. I guarantee you that if it wasn’t for the expression of Christ in our brothers and sisters here, we wouldn’t have bought this house and we probably wouldn’t be here at all.

It’s because of our local expression of the Body of Christ that we no longer feel claustrophobic in taking this step. I’d even go as far as to say that I am personally experiencing a deeper sense of Freedom as we take these steps, that once felt heavy and constraining.

Here’s to new seasons, and a beautiful Family to share them with. Happy 2014!