I just watched this crazy reality tv show that’s filmed in the area I live in.  One of the girls on it is actually a customer of mine.  She seems like a sweet girl.  She’s always friendly and pleasant.  I saw a commercial for the show and thought — hey… I know her.  So the next time I saw her, I asked about it and told her I’d have to watch it.  She said, “No, please don’t.  It’s embarrassing.  We filmed at the beginning of the summer and now I’m having to relive all the drama over again.”

I tivoed it, of course.  As you watch the show you see drama… money… drama… possessions… drama… social status… DRAMA!  And I realize it’s reality tv and that reality tv is rarely, if ever, actually reality… but I also know that though it may be embellished and edited to get higher ratings, it’s still real video footage that does, at least somehow, reflect these people’s lives.  And I see why she’s embarrassed.

And tonight after watching it I thought… How would I feel if a camera followed me around during my worst moments? Om… yeah… No thank you.  What in my life would I be embarrassed to see on TV? I could write a list… and the thing is…

I want to live a valuable life – one that matters in eternity – one that pleases my Creator.  And there are things I need to change.  It’s easy to watch a show about people who are very different than I am and point out all the insanely wacked out priorities in their lives… It’s harder to look at my own life and do the same thing…

Yesterday I read a little bit of The Journals of Jim Elliot. I was encouraged and challenged by two prayers he prayed…

“Lord, I want to be centering my interest on Thee… Be then revealed to me that my desires might be fixed on the primary thing.”

and

“God, I pray, light these idle sticks of my life and may I burn up for Thee.  Consume my life, my God, for it is Thine.  I seek not a long life but a full one like Yours, Lord Jesus.”

So this week, my challenge is to remain focused on the primary thing and to be consumed by Him… living a full life…

And that is my random ramblings for the night. 

I have a lot of dreams.  I always have.  They’ve not always been the same dreams though.  And I get new ones all the time… Sometimes when I share a new one with a person named Jenny Cummings, she calmly and seriously replies… “Are you even a real person?”  I am.  I might be odd… but I am very much real.  I pinched myself, so I know.  I’m real, AND I’m awake.

But something amazing is happening… something I delight to give all credit to my Creator for…

I used to dream of being a teacher while also finding time to become famous for both singing and painting…

I used to dream of fancy houses, ball gowns, and frequent dinners that require a multitude of forks…

I used to dream of shiny things and lots and lots of them… and weddings (mostly mine – which would clearly be full of such shiny things and paid for by a rich dude who was going to take me on his fancy business dinners for the rest of our lives… )

I used to dream of kids, who I would dress in the latest trendy outfits and take on vacations to Europe where we would stay in the finest hotels…

I used to dream of living on the beach and having picnics everyday of my life…

I used to dream of making a name for MYSELF…

Now I dream of leaving it all behind and going to a nation that needs to hear about Jesus…

Now I dream of living in an RV or trailer and traveling around the country serving other people…

Now I dream about how intense it could be to share life with some dude who is as crazy as me… and all the damage (in the good sense of the word) we could do together… but I also dream of what my life will look like if I’m doing it solo forever… and I find both dreams to be worth dreaming of…

Now I dream of adopting children who would never know unconditional love otherwise…

Now I dream of finding creative ways to teach people all these crazy things I am learning about giving our lives away to the One who will give us true life in return…

Now I dream of going to the beach frequently, or so, and having picnics on a regular basis… enjoying God’s creation and recharging for the next adventure…

Now I dream about bringing attention to the glory of JESUS name…

AND IT’S ALL BECAUSE OF WHO HE IS.

I can’t guarantee which of the dreams will remain and will be lived out.  But that last one… it’s the most important and I’m committed to seeing it through… thanks to Jesus, who saved me and continues to change me, bigger dreams are being dreamed… and bigger adventures are being lived… and I’m loving it!!!

Just got an email from a friend with some challenging words.

A Charles Spurgeon quote:

“Every Christian here is either a missionary or an impostor. Recollect that. You either try to spread abroad the kingdom of Christ, or else you do not love him at all. It cannot be that there is a high appreciation of Jesus and a totally silent tongue about him.”

So we must ask ourselves: am I going to live as a missionary or an impostor?

Smart creativity.  I like it.  I want to know how much time and planning went into making it.  I also want to know what the song is about.    Watch and wonder.

I love words.  Here are some great ones I’ve read this week.  I can’t get them out of my head, nor do I want to.

“I am not worthy of the least of all the deeds of steadfast love and all the faithfulness that you have shown to your servant.” – Jacob’s prayer in Genesis 32:10

“The Spirit of Christ is the spirit of missions, and the nearer we get to Him, the more intensely missionary we become.” ~ Henry Martin

“This is also a check on the heart: Am I desperate for something that God can put His character behind? A lot of selfish desires die when we align ourselves with God’s will, wanting what He wants.” (from Desire Spiritual Growth blog)

“…much of the Christian life is spent trusting Jesus now and understanding him later. Jesus typically does not feel it necessary to explain on the front end why he is doing something the way he is doing it.” (from Desiring God blog)

“We are not going to move this world by criticism of it nor conformity to it, but by the combustion within it of lives ignited by the Spirit of God.” – Vance Havner