Four months ago, I wrote a post called “new lenses | giving it time.” I’d been back in America for 2 months. Now, it’s been 6. In some ways, time has FLOWN by. In other ways, it has c r a w l e d b y s o o o o v e r y s l o w l y ! ! ! When I wrote that post, God was telling me to STOP and WAIT until I could see more clearly. “Don’t force yourself to move when you can’t see. It is not a waste of time to wait.”
Now, I’m moving – in a more literal sense than I thought when I heard that from the Lord. I understand now WHY I had to stop and wait. If anything I was trying to do then had worked out, I wouldn’t have been free to do this – to pick up and start over. There was so much I needed to see. I was already seeing some things I had never seen before, but it was all still fuzzy… Over time, it’s become more and more clear…
5 days from now, I’ll be getting in my [new and shiny red] car with the few belongings I have left. I’ll drive for 11 hours and stay for a night in New Mexico (sometimes you have to go through places you don’t like to get to places you do), then I’ll drive another 11 hours to Dallas. I’ll visit with friends there for 2 days and then drive 10 more hours to Nashville, where I will stay.
I’m going because of Jesus. He is the reason. He is the way. I wish I could show you how much He has done in this… I can’t really. But I’ll tell you a little.
It first came up for me in September. I was in the living room of a stranger with a longtime friend and mentor who, at 1am, said to me: “Shanda. Why don’t you just move to Nashville?” I thought she was crazy. Really. And I argued. But I also listened and, in the end, I agreed to pray about it. At that point, even praying about it kind of terrified me. But the more I prayed, the more I saw Jesus moving and putting life into this crazy thought.
Now, my stuff is mostly packed and I’m 9 days away from being there. 9 days! And when I get there, I will join a group of people who have learned/are learning the same things I’ve learned/am learning about Jesus and His body. I’m moving to be a part of a church (an organic church), not a church like most of us often think of church… It’s a people (not a place). It’s a living spiritual organism (not an institution). It’s people joined together in Christ, expressing together the life of Christ, and seeking together Christ as the Head.
I’m excited. And I’m so ready. And I’m occasionally a bit nervous. But I know it’s gonna be good, because it’s so very FULL of Jesus! And HE is always GOOD.