whatever “crazy” you want me in

I’ve been gradually learning something about myself…  I am often times too pragmatic about things. I see A and I see B and I think that clearly they should add up to C [because I’m smart and I know that A and B make C! – obviously!] … right NOW. If it makes sense… it just makes sense and we, clearly, should really just hurry along to C. {I realize that this might seem strange for me to say. I doubt most people think of me this way. I guess I’m kind of a weird mixture of left and right brained so the way I see A and B and C might be different than others. But in MY mind, they logically add up. :)}

The problem with that is, God doesn’t typically work that way – through pragmatic ways. At least not most of the time. Just look at Scripture.

People said, “Hey look! There’s a giant. We need to fight him. Let’s get our biggest guy and develop a strategy for how he’ll bring him down. Then we’ll send him in and obviously he’ll be victorious.” But God said, "No. That’s not how it’s going to work. I’ll send in this little guy, because He trusts ME. And he’ll get the job done that your big guy can’t do.” Sending in the little guy makes NO SENSE. He’ll get killed. You can’t do that. But that’s how God chose to bring victory.

People came to the big massive walls of Jericho and rather than develop an attack plan God said, “Just do what I say. March around and then blow your horns… and the walls will just fall!” How does that make ANY sense? But that’s how God worked.

Joseph was living it up with a multi-colored coat and God showed him through dreams that things were going to get even better. If he was like me, he probably thought that would happen sooner than later. But no. FIRST he had to be hated, tricked, thrown into jail, used and abused… and THEN years later, He got to where God had showed him He was going. Years. But he remained faithful, the whole time, even though he did not understand. How many times do you think he wondered, “LORD, why is this happening? It doesn’t make sense. I thought you told me in a dream…” And God said, “Yeah. I did. Just wait.”

Simon and Andrew. They had jobs as fishermen, and they were good at it. They were doing their thing and Jesus said, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” What in the world does that even MEAN? Fishers of men? How do you fish men? Why would they leave their jobs to follow some stranger? But they did. Immediately. They left everything and went. Does that sound wise? Not so much. But that’s what the presence of Jesus brings out of people.

There are thousands of people gathered, but there is no food. Oh wait. There are 5 loaves and 2 fish. People said, “We better send all these people home. They need to eat and we don’t have nearly enough food.” But Jesus said, “No. No. Bring me what you have and I will feed them.” Ommm… Not going to work. Obviously. Use your head Jesus. But that’s not the way He works. He didn’t say 5 loaves + 2 fish = clearly NOT enough food. He said, “I’ve got this. Just do what I say.”

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

Isaiah 55:8-9

Right. So I can’t just use my noggin and figure it all out. At least not if I want to live God’s way.

I left Asia. And I started making plans. They made sense to me. Then God said, “Wait. Don’t plan. This isn’t My Way for you.” So I stopped and waited. And now, I’m still waiting but it’s becoming more clear everyday that where I thought I was going is not where God is taking me. And that usually means… well, something that doesn’t make sense is coming. So, I’m getting ready.

Honestly Jesus, sometimes your higher ways feel a bit… well CRAZY. But, okay. I’m listening. And I’m letting go of my A and B obviously should bring us to C (and definitely NOT D) mentality [again]. And whatever “crazy” you want me in… Well, I’m in. I want what you have for me and nothing less than it.

I’m Letting Go by Francesca Battistelli

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