midnight ramblings | 14 months later, it’s later

Tonight I returned to the room I wrote from last June as I packed up my life to move to Asia. I was very overwhelmed – trying to decide what to get rid of, what to take to Asia, what to pack in boxes and keep for later (whenever later would come).

14 months later, it’s later – sooner than I expected, really. But – when the Father knew it would be.

It’s not any easier this time around. I’ve decided not to “stay” in Texas. It has been about 5 years since I’ve lived anywhere near my family. I have some fantastic friends in Cali that I only see once or twice every year or two since college, if that. I miss the beach! I miss the mountains. I miss the weather.  This year there have been several of my close friends who returned after a few years in other places. I don’t really intend to always be in America and I currently have the freedom and ability to go – anywhere. SO, it just feels like a good time to try to spend a season in my home state – near my family and some old friends.

But a season anywhere means a season NOT somewhere else – filled with people who I love. So, no decision of a location for residence comes easily for me anymore. And this decision, though exciting in many ways is also really pretty sad. Being here, around all these people who I love so much/who love me so much (I still don’t really understand why!) makes it ALL that much HARDER. But also more beautiful. Seeing their faces when I tell them that I’m pretty sure I’m going to NOT live here makes me want to say, “Just kidding! I’ll stay!”

Anyway, I meant to write about how I have too much stuff – even though it’s less than I used to have and less than most people American’s have… It’s too much to take on an airplane! So, I’ll be getting rid of some MORE and visiting the post office AND coming for a 2nd round in a few months maybe???

Sigh. I live such a ridiculous life. It’s awesome. But it’s challenging. And it’s not normal. But I guess that’s one of my goals.

(Notice that when I write when I’m tired… I don’t use color… or pictures.)

Also, FYI – I’m thinkin through lots of big things. I’m holdin in lots of big thoughts. Not sure when I’ll have time to get them out and onto my blog. Or when I’ll start writing in complete sentences again.


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