confessions… (in a rambling late night fashion)


I have a few confessions… (in a rambling late night fashion)

I’m nervous. It just HIT me that I have nothing planned for my life past 4 days from now.

Seriously.

Nothing.

Okay, that’s not true. I have some plans. But they are things like hanging out with my family, going to the beach with Anissa, hanging out with relatives that will come to CA on vacation, playing with my friends’ kids who have grown up a lot since I’ve seen them (if I’ve ever even seen them), going to weddings, finding a cheap (but good) car to buy, driving to TX, visiting Jenny,  etc.

Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night thinking… “I really don’t want to go to school again.” As much as part of me does, I really don’t. It takes time. A lot of it. And money. A lot of it. And maybe both of those resources could be used in better ways. I’ve already gone to more school than I originally ever dreamed I would. So maybe more school is just a crazy idea that will come and go off and on. Or maybe I’ll eventually decide it’s worth it. Or maybe I’ll figure out it’s really not.

There are so many maybes.

Trust. Wait. I stink at those things sometimes.

Not KNOWING things makes me feel so … fickle.

I want to have a plan to explain to people. But I don’t.

So, the goal of the week is to remember that I don’t have to explain it. They don’t have to fully understand.

And neither do I, actually.

One step is all I need.

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