Today I had some friends come over. We were planning on studying the Trinity. But as the time approached, I felt like we just needed to have some very REAL time with each other.
You may or may not have read this post I recently linked to. It talked about inviting people into your mess and not apologizing for being a human being with emotions. The blogger (@chatting at the sky) said: “What if instead of brushing our emotions aside and apologizing for the brokenness, we invited a few people into it? What if instead of pointing out the mess on the floor, we welcomed them to sit with us among it? Perhaps we would finally see that we were made for greater things than this.”
You may or may not be aware but, in general, I’m a mess. And lately, I’m a MESS. I counted today. There are 4 significant areas in my life that I’m struggling with. There’s a lot of ache in my heart to do with these areas, and this week has been just plain difficult. On 37 different levels. (I didn’t count the levels. It’s just a random number that signifies a lot of levels!)
God is in all of it. I know that. I see that, most of the time. And even when I don’t see it, I know it’s true. I’m having some real and messy moments with Him. He is faithful and He is Sovereign and He is teaching me in his lovingkindness.
When my friends, 3 Sisters, came over today I sat down with them and I asked them to share what our Father is teaching them. The first girl shared a verse she read last night and spoke about how it taught her and met her in some difficult circumstances in her life. It was beautiful to hear how the Spirit is moving in her. The 2nd girl then began to share…
I am learning that life can be very hard. God let’s very hard things happen sometimes. But all of the hard things He uses to make us stronger and more like Him.
She continued on for 2 or 3 minutes and my eyes FILLED with tears. Then I tried to begin to speak… but instead the tears flowed out of my eyes. And there they saw my brokenness. And I told them how I have struggled recently and I am struggling today. And I played my new favorite song for them and showed them the lyrics so they could understand. There I was, a little embarrassed… but inviting them into my mess. And they needed it. They needed to see my mess. The rest of our time together was the most meaningful we have EVER had.
I didn’t mean to really talk specifically about ANY of my 4 areas of struggle but I ended up sharing about 1 that affects them. We all ended up crying. And some of the sweetest fellowship I have ever had in my life occurred. They hugged me. They prayed for me. They melted my heart. God melted my heart. And all of us had tears flowing. (And this is not typically a culture that shows a lot of emotion, especially not the teary kind.) In the midst of it, they told me that when we come together I am not an American and they are not ____. We are just all God’s children. At that point, I wept. Again. But more.
And then we talked about Heaven and how people from all nations will come together at the Throne and how God will wipe away all of our tears as we finally understand WHY… We will finally see all the beauty that was contained in all those broken moments that hurt so much when they happened, and He will wipe away our tears.
I guess we’ll study the trinity next time. Today though, I think we saw a great example of the Spirit working among us.