Tonight I felt a desperate need to be alone. I’ve had a lot of people time lately so tonight I said no to dinner with friends and I curled up on the couch and watched Beauty and the Beast and read a book. In the midst of it, I talked to the Father very honestly. Having honest talks with the Father sometimes is really difficult.
I told him I was angry. I told him I don’t understand – so many things – I don’t understand. I told him that I am having trouble trusting Him today. I told him I was sorry because I know He is TRUSTWORTHY and it’s ME that is broken. I told Him I am tired of being broken. And I am mad that I have to live this way – broken, and in a world full of so much brokenness.
And I cried. And I wanted to hit something. And I felt really stupid.
[Ugh. So lame.]
And then I saw a friend’s blog post on facebook and she had posted a song called Blessings by Laura Story. And I clicked it. And I listened to it. And it’s like the song was written just for me. Today. It helped me to cry and to remember that my tears have a purpose because maybe His healing comes through tears. And my sleepless nights are a time to find Him near. And His mercies come in trials. And raindrops are blessings. And pain is a reminder that THIS is not our home.
So just in case you need it too, because I don’t think I’m the only one: