I can do it for Him

Sometimes dying to self comes in weird forms…

like agreeing to sing a duet in front of 5,000 people.

Not sure if it’s actually going to happen or not… but I just said I would do it, if we can work it out in time. I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to a single bit. Partially because I haven’t really sung in front of people in at least 2 years, maybe more. It’s like I’ve reverted to my youngest/shyest days when my dad had to offer to pay me $25 before I would consider singing my first solo, and I really thought I might die in the process.

But I am spending this day thinking about being selfless… dying to self… putting others first. I didn’t want to let people walk all over me and make me do something I didn’t want to do… but now, nobody is making me… I’m offering. I mean, I was asked a thousand times and I said no. I’m stubborn and I was annoyed and I was saying no for others who wanted/needed to say no. But today, I’m saying yes… for myself…

Because sometimes I need to do things I do not want to do… It reminds me that my life isn’t mine and I’m not living for me. I’m not offering because they asked a thousand times. I’m offering because I decided I can do it for Him.

So, I may or may not be singing in front of 5,000 students tomorrow. We’ll see what happens.


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