“You need to go.”

So, I’m a teacher. Being a teacher often means that you stand in front of a room and a bunch of people look at you. (It means a lot of other things that are a lot more important than that, of course…) And right now, I really don’t want people to look at me. I don’t want to look at myself. I’d show you a picture, but I won’t. If you haven’t heard the story, I’ll publish it in my other place of publishing soon. But for now, I shall just say… I’ve been debating and talking to my Father all day about whether or not I should teach tomorrow.

To be honest, I don’t want to. I’m sore. I’m tired. And mostly, I am… vain.

I don’t want my students to forever remember me as the teacher who had the really nasty black eye. I don’t want to go to class with a black eye AND no makeup on, but no amount of makeup could cover this puppy and I can’t wear makeup on just half my face… that would look ridiculous. I’m not the kind of girl who can’t leave her house without makeup, — I used to be, but that ended a long time ago. — but, I do like to TRY to look nice and put together, especially when I’m going to spend the day standing in front of rooms full of people. Right now, looking put together is just NOT going to happen. So, I’d rather just stay home. (Even though staying home is kind of driving me nuts.) Tuesday is the start of a 4 day holiday. So why not just give the students an early break?

I wanted to call and have my classes canceled. I really really wanted to. But all day I’ve had this whisper in the back of my mind, and mostly in my heart, saying… “You need to go.” I didn’t like it, so I kept trying to talk down that voice.

But then…

I decided to pull out my notes from friends. (I love notes from friends.) And I randomly pulled out one card. And there was this verse on it that made that whisper get louder. And then I realized I had a card that I was supposed to open on September 1st, and now it’s September 19th, and I never did open it. So, today is the day. I opened it and read it and was encouraged… and then, at the end… guess what… SAME VERSE. The whisper became a booming voice.

So, I’m going tomorrow. Because guess what, self… I’m not here to look nice or feel great. I’m here to be a weak little servant with an ALL SUFFICIENT MASTER.

What was the verse?

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

“But he said to me,
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses,
so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
For the sake of Christ,
then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.
For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Tomorrow might not be some great amazing day in which my teaching changes the world. It’s really going to be a pretty low key day that’s very student led. But who knows, today I was reminded how really small moments can make an impact. And also, maybe I just need some humbling. (I think this face is going to give me that for a good while…)

(And to all you who are worrying as you read this… Don’t worry. I’m fine. I promise.)


2 thoughts on ““You need to go.”

  1. I love you friend. I am so glad to see that you are growing from your hardship. May you continue to abide in Him! WE ARE HIS WORKMANSHIP (even when we are ashamed of who we are, what we have become or even what we look like—HE makes us beautiful!) I am confident that what will shine forth in the lives of those you teach and come across is the radiating beauty of the one you represent. Stand firm in what He has called you to do knowing that suffering (even for a little bit) is a privilege for His namesake. LOVE YOU TONS FRIEND!!!!

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