from my journal…

(which I am currently in the habit of TYPING, rather than writing… it’s just faster and I have a lot to say these days that I can’t always post… so I just type away!)

July 25, 2010 – Sunday

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.”

Phew!!!! What a relief!

July 27, 2010 – Tuesday

I think I’m leaning more about what it means to lose yourself daily. I think this is a very hard thing to learn. Sigh.

Aug. 3, 2010 – Tuesday

Confession: I have no idea what I’m doing.

Aug. 4, 2010 – Wednesday

On days I need a bit of love and encouragement, I pull out notes from friends. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I laugh. Sometimes I stop and think… remember what and whose I am… and why I am.

Today I read a note from “my roommate,” Jen. It looked like this:

To those who cannot see the invisible,
to those who refuse to believe it exists,
the path you choose, the life you live,
may lead them to conclude that you are
not simply different but insane.
People who are fully alive look out of
their minds to those who simply exist.
~ Erwin McManus

This quote is you to me!

I’ll never read it without thinking of you and praying that you’re daily willing to look out of your mind!

“Not simply different but insane.” Oh yes. Not only do people think that of me at times, I feel it. I feel insane. Once or twice this week I’ve genuinely thought, “What have I done?” “Why am I here?” “I think I really might be crazy!” Am I crazy? Or am I just fully alive? Or maybe it’s that I’ve experienced being fully alive and today, I’m only half alive…

Whatever I am or am not, it’s a season and it will not last forever.

August 5, 2010 – Thursday

Psalm 118

God, Today and everyday be my refuge. It is in you that I have found salvation. I will not reject you, the cornerstone. What You have done IS marvelous in my eyes. Help me to, through You, show others that I truly believe you are marvelous! This is the day that YOU have made and the day that YOU have given me to live and breathe, enjoy your salvation, and be a light to the world. Fill me, so that with every breath I take, ever step that I walk, and every word that I speak YOU will be honored, glorified, and pointed to. May YOUR light SHINE on me so that when others look at me, it isn’t ME that they see… but YOU!


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