2: a sort of death


Last night I met up with a bunch of friends for a little bit. Many of them I will not see again before I leave, and some of them I probably will never see again. These are people I share life with… people I see weekly if not several times weekly. Some of them I’ve just recently started to get to know and others I’ve known for quite a while. I’ve served with them and traveled around the country and world with some of these people. Saying bye felt weird, but I was okay… until I got home… and then I laid on the floor and cried like a little baby.

I felt so sad and overwhelmed. I haven’t felt like that lately, but it hit all of a sudden and really hard. I guess it’s natural that there be some sort of a grieving process and really, that’s the thing I can most relate it to… No one is dying, but there is a sort of death of the life I’ve lived here… letting go of community I love. Man. I seriously do just LOVE them. LOVE LOVE LOVE.

I know, without a doubt, this GOING is EXACTLY where I need to be. It’s where I WANT to be. I have no desire to stay here, but I am sad to leave. I am sad to let go. I want to. I am delighted to, but it also hurts a bit. It’s a death.

Death is beautiful. It makes room for new life. Better life. But with it comes hurt… but with the hurt comes… growth… lovely growth.

Today, this is my song:

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