Today a dear friend of mine (Miss Amber Baker) hopped on a train and rode down to San Diego, just to spend a few hours with me. I felt loved. :) She called me when her train pulled into the station. I was driving around the block. I got back around and there she was, in her pretty purple sweater with the gigantic smile I’ve always loved about her. She hopped in my car. We said our excited greetings and then I confessed, “I am so glad you’re here! … and I don’t have a plan!” That didn’t seem to phase her. We each threw out an idea or two and quickly made a decision about where we would go. I drove around for a minute, not sure which direction I needed to be going to get to this destination. “I think it’s this way.” “Ope, no. It’s the other way.” “I just wanted to show you around the city.” A bit representative of my life these days. :)
I have a plan. It’s a big plan. It’s a life changing plan. It makes me smile inside my heart and on my face. But… It overwhelms me. So, sometimes… I am finding myself avoiding planning in other areas. I want some flexibility. I need some wiggle room because, well, I feel wiggly.
I went out of town this weekend. My mom asked, “How long are you going for?” I said, “I’m not sure. I’ll call you when I decide.” I got to where I was going and the people I was staying with asked, “How long are you staying?” I didn’t know. We discussed schedules. I made a decision-ish (still kept some wiggle room) … but I forgot to call my mom. She left me a voice mail, “I’m assuming you have a plan, but you haven’t told me what it is. Call me.” I did, after Chuck was over. :)
So, I’d just like to say to all of those in my world…
I’m sorry if the moments in which I do not have a plan stress you out. I’m sorry that such moments are happening more frequently than normal and that my brain is in a scattered state. But just think of life with me as a big adventure. And remember, it’ll get figured out… and I might end up showing you some pretty parts of the city that you wouldn’t have seen otherwise. :)
I also must say…
I understand if it DOES stress you out. I like plans too. I really do. There are some things I’d currently love to have a plan for and I can’t yet… because… Hmmm… well, maybe God is teaching me patience like I asked Him to? I don’t know.
Did YOU ask God to teach you patience? Maybe that’s why he brought me to you! :)