Warning: I’m writing this at a teary eyed midnight. No telling what might come out.
In January of 2007, I packed up my (brother’s) car – a little toyota corolla – from floor to ceiling with my belongings and I drove myself to the land of TX. It was important to me to think of it not as “going away to school” like I did in undergrad but as “moving away.” It wasn’t just about school, it was going to be a whole different life in a whole different place.
I hate goodbyes. I’m pretty sure I cried for the first hour or so of my drive. Safe, right? But! ~ I love hellos. I love new beginnings. I love adventures. So as I drove further down the road I thought of those things and I was okay. And man, I’m so glad I made that move!
3 years and 4 months later…
I can’t even believe how much I LOVE my life here in TX. (It’s not the place that I love. I mean, there are no mountains or ocean! But…) I absolutely LOVE the amazing, seriously, amazing community I have here. God has blessed me with very rich relationships. The thought of leaving hurts my heart tremendously…
I feel like I’m in the process already of uprooting… phasing out of life as I currently know it… I’ve put roots in here. Pretty deep ones. As they slowly come up, parts of me will stay and… well, it’s a painful process.
And yet, I have never been more excited for a new chapter in my life. And if you know me, you know I’ve been pretty excited about a lot of things and chapters! This morning, one of my friends at church asked about how preparation is going and as I told her about it she smiled and said, “You are just beaming!!!” And it’s true… my heart is overflowing with joy about where I am going and what I am going to have the privilege of doing!
Tonight, I talked to a couple of friends who have lived overseas. One of them reminded me that stress is to be expected and to just let it come because I can’t stop it… I also can’t let it get the best of me… and I must remember that good things are happening. Another told me (after I said I prefer to be emotionally stable but am feeling pretty rollercoaster-ish and it might make me crazy)… “well welcome to the amusement park my lady!”
I’m thinking I better just buckle up… because this ride is not going to end any time soon! I hope all of you fabulous friends of mine, near and far, don’t mind a mess of a me for a while.
Change is good. Especially this one. This is good. This is good. Hard. But oh so good! Must remember.
Lord, help me not to be so earthbound. (That’s for Lauren! But I also really mean it!)