I think I’d like to be her friend | TED: See Yemen Through (Nadia Al-Sakkaf’s) Eyes

A few months ago, I shared a story I had read about a girl in Yemen. ONE of the many things I love about stories is that one story makes me hungry for more stories – more knowledge – a wider, more accurate view of the world. Reading Nujood’s story back in April made me start paying more intentional attention to Yemen. So, when I saw there was a TED talk by Nadia Al-Sakkaf – I actually knew who she was (the Editor of the Yemen Times) and I was eager to “See Yemen Through [her] Eyes” (the name of her TED talk).

And, of course, I think you should SEE too!

(If the video does not show up… click here!)

I think I’d like to be her friend. Obviously, our stories are quite different but I actually think we have a lot in common (and that’s another thing I love about stories. There’s usually SOMETHING you can SOMEHOW relate to). Here’s why…

In her story, she shared:

I studied in India. And in my third year, I started becoming confused because I was Yemeni, but I was also mixing up with a lot of my friends in college. And I went back home and I said, ”Daddy, I don’t know who I am. I’m not a Yemeni, I’m not an Indian.” And he said, “You are the bridge.” And that is something I will keep in my heart forever.

I’ve shared with you before the analogy of “being green” (a life of not fitting in) and if you’ve spent much time with me, you’ve probably heard me talk about it many times. I’ve spent time overseas in a few different places. I’ve been changed by all the places I’ve been. I JUST got back from 13 months in Asia – and I’m more GREEN than ever before. And just like Nadia said, sometimes that can get a little confusing. Who am I really? But her father was so wise in his answer. A bridge. We get to be bridges. People who live between cultures and help (somehow) to link them together – to better understand each other a bit more, or at least to CARE more.

I also relate to the influence her father had on her believing she could be an agent of change in the world, and a bridge. She says at different points that her father always told her she was equal to men. He always affirmed her ability to be a strong women who influences the world. I was thinking about this just recently… If I hadn’t had a father who believed in my abilities… I wouldn’t be me. I can think of several strong memories of my own Daddy telling me he believed I was going to change the world. He told me I was going to do greater things than he ever did. And I believed him. He gave me courage to try. And maybe even courage to fall on my face a few times in the process.

[Note to Men: If you ever get the chance... Be this kind of a Daddy. Tell your daughters they can change the world and make it a better place. And they just might.]

She also has a passion to be an educator about various sides of realities in her country and in the world, and she’s in a great spot to do that as the Editor of the Yemen Times. She talks about the need to go beyond stereotypes, to realize that Yemen is a place with more than just Al Qaeda and terrorism, and that it’s not fair for the world to see Yemen in one single frame (like Chimamanda Adichie talked about in her TED talk about the dangers of a single story).

So basically… if you didn’t already, you should stop reading what I have to say and watch/listen to Nadia Al-Sakkaf…

Dear Nadia, Can we be friends? Let’s have coffee. :)

stories | “the danger of a single story” (TED)

Have I ever mentioned that I love stories? Well I do. And once upon a time, over at TED, Chimamanda Adichie gave a talk called “The danger of a single story.” I watched it recently because of this post on Hands Wide Open. And I LOVED it.

She talks about how books/stories she read stirred her imagination and opened up new worlds for her but they also made her think that people like her (a young girl in Nigeria) could not exist in literature until she discovered African writers and… “It saved me from having a single story of what books are.”

What is this single story business she speaks of?

So that is how to create a single story, show a people as one thing, as only one thing, over and over again, and that is what they become.

A single story makes us think that EVERYONE in Africa is poor and has AIDS. A single story makes us think that everyone in America lives like the characters on Desperate Housewives. A single story makes us think that all they eat in China is rice.

 The single story creates stereotypes. And the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They make one story become the only story.

There are a lot of people in Africa who are poor and many who have AIDS, but there are many who are not poor and many who do not have AIDS. There might be a few people in America who live like the Desperate Housewives characters, but not many – I hope. They eat a lot of rice in China, but they also eat a lot of noodles and meat and vegetables and seafood and dumplings…

I’ve always felt that it is impossible to engage properly with a place or a person without engaging with all of the stories of that place and that person.The consequence of the single story is this: It robs people of dignity. It makes our recognition of our equal humanity difficult. It emphasizes how we are different rather than how we are similar.

I like that a lot! It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. It’s one of the most overwhelming things about leaving This Place (in 18 days) and going back to America. How can I accurately share the story of my friends and of this life here? How can I avoid giving you a single story that just furthers one stereotype or another? And will you want to listen? And will I want to talk?

Anyway… for now, you should watch the video:

other people’s shoes

I’ve been talking a lot about stories lately, or my whole life… ya know, whatev. One of the things I love about stories, non-fiction and even fiction (particularly if it’s, at least somewhat, realistic fiction), is that there is a potential to take us out of ourselves and into the story – into another person’s world. I love that. I think we NEED that. Not because we need to “escape reality” – although it is sometimes nice to kind of “get away” through a story - but, there can be a higher purpose. Stepping out of our lives and into other people’s lives helps us to develop a better understanding of the world, of humanity, and the way we all fit together. Because, we do. We really do all fit together. There is one BIG story going on in the world and, whether we see it or not, it’s all connected. We would do a much better job of playing our part in the BIG story if we had a better understanding of the other characters.

It would do us a world of good, or I should say, it would do the world a lot of good… if we would be more intentional about placing ourselves in other people’s shoes… taking time, making effort, choosing to think and imagine and empathize with others so that we see them as PEOPLE, real people… not as just as Other or enemy or ______. We do not need to become them, or agree with them, but just set ourselves and our agendas aside and TRY to understand them.

A sociologist named Sam Richards did a TED talk recently about empathy. In it he performed “a radical experiment in empathy,” asking his audience to try to understand the motivations of an Iraqi insurgent; not to agree, but to understand.

Honestly, doing such things is difficult. It takes intentionality and effort. It’s draining. It’s emotional. And it’s definitely not about fun or escaping from reality. But it is dealing with reality and trying to understand all sides of it, which is always – in my opinion - beneficial.

Here’s the video. See what you think. (I think that this is not just true and needed when it comes to politics or war as in his particular experiment. I think it also applies very strongly to following Christ and sharing the gospel. Think about that too. If you want.) :) 

For more thoughts on this TED Talk from a person smarter than me (who I stole the video from) … click here.