WHY ARE YOU GOING? Forget about where.

It’s been a few days since I’ve posted and I feel like I should have something to say, so I sat down and… nothing…

I have a folder filled with random notes and thought processing. I looked there. It’s all too big. Too much to unload right now. I have another place filled with quotes from books and blogs and conversations. And that’s where I said, “Got it!”

The following comes from Chasing Daylight, by Erwin McManus.

You would think if anyone knew the will of God, it would be the apostle Paul. After all, he was God’s instrument for writing much of the New Testament. … Yet, what you find is that Paul was as uncertain about which way to go as many of us are in our life journeys.

…

In many ways Luke’s travel journal is a divine comedy. It tells us that Paul had no idea where he was supposed to be going. At first he was sure Asia was the right direction, then he redirected to Bithynia. And only when he was unconscious did he finally understand that he was supposed to go to Macedonia. It took the whole Trinity to keep Paul from going to the wrong place. On top of that, while Paul was conscious, he just couldn’t get it.

…

Paul didn’t know where he was going, but he did know why. His compass was the heart of God. He was fueled and driven by the passion and urgency that God had placed in his heart – to take the life and freedom that comes in Jesus Christ to every person on the face of the earth. What God makes clear is that when we’re committed to seizing His divine moments, He’ll make sure He gets us to the right place at the right time. What God can do through a person who’s willing to act is limitless.

I love that. I’m SO thankful for the story of Paul’s life (for this reason, and SO many others!).

So today, that’s what I have for you… Just passing on some challenging encouragement.

And here’s my question, to you and to me: WHY ARE YOU GOING? Forget about where. Let’s just think about WHY. And when the answer to that is right, God will take care of the rest. And it will be stinkin’ awesome when we get there. Hard. Pretty sure about that. But stinkin’ AWE-SOME!

more like Paul | my spirit was not at rest

One time, while I was on the other side of the world, one of my friends informed me that she and a couple other people had decided they were going to call me Paulina. Apparently, my life reminded them of Paul in some ways. I laughed. Paulina is a funny name. But I also laughed because I felt awkward… I am so unworthy of being compared to PAUL!!! That dude wrote like half the Bible! (slight exaggeration)  I’m not like him!

But then I remembered, Paul was pretty unworthy too! And the whole deal with him was – he was a man who did terrible things and then he had an encounter with Jesus and was filled with the Holy Spirit and everything changed. He began living a life directed by and dependent on the Holy Spirit. That’s why his life was so amazing and so beautiful. That’s even why his life was really really zig-zaggy (moving from one place to another) and didn’t necessarily always “make sense.”

And HELLO! That’s my story too! That should be the story of ALL followers of Jesus. Right? Maybe that’s part of our problem these days. We think Paul was the exception – an example that we can’t possibly ever live up to. But what if that’s not the way God intended it? What if He really wants us all to be Pauls (or Paulinas)? 

Honestly, and humbly… I relate to Paul these days more than I ever have before. I read this the other day:

When I came to Troas to preach the gospel of Christ, even though a door was opened to for me in the Lord, my spirit was not at rest because I did not find my brother Titus there. So I took leave of them and went on to Macedonia.

2 Corinthians 2:12-13

As I read it, I thought… Wow. That’s it. That speaks to why and how I left Asia. Doors were open. But my spirit was not at rest. It’s hard to explain. It doesn’t always make sense – even to me. I miss my friends. So very much. In so many ways, I didn’t want to leave them. And that little podunk town in Asia will forever be one of my “homes” and people there will forever by my family. But, I’ve been learning so much – and they were a part of that process – and I think I did there what I was supposed to do there. And I learned there what I needed to learn there. And now, I don’t know what it’s all going to look like but I do know – in my spirit – that He’s preparing me for something else and it was time to “take leave.“ For me, it’s not my brother Titus. I don’t know anyone named Titus. For me, it’s needing to spend some time in another of my place… another “home”… for a season of intentional learning and seeking and doing. And it’s people I haven’t met yet in places/a place I probably haven’t been yet… but someday… maybe.

So maybe I’m a little more like Paul than I thought? And maybe that idea shouldn’t make me feel so uncomfortable?