travel day | on the ground of Jesus

Today is a travel day. I like those. I get antsy when there is too much time between them. And I’m antsy now, which is funny because it hasn’t been that long. Two months ago, I was in Texas. Only 2 months.

Ugh, but 2 months is a long time! In normal life, it’s not necessarily. But in unsettled life, it is.

So, little unsettled me is ready for a change of scenery for a week.

And little unsettled me is going to be asking God particularly a lot while enjoying this change of scenery, “When and how should I move towards a settling point?”

I want to walk in His timing. I know I am very capable of trying to rush and very capable of trying to delay. And while in moments I have desires to do both of those things, I don’t ACTUALLY want to do either of them. So, I’m praying that I’ll see through His eyes, and walk in His ways and moments with a steady trust in His ability to get me where I need to be and when.

I read this seriously great devotional yesterday. It said:

We have to leave our own ground in every way.

…

Do you answer back, "I am so weak!" The Lord is not going to meet you on that ground; He will meet you on the ground of His Son. That is what the Holy Spirit means by such words as He speaks through Paul: “…be strengthened in the grace that is in Christ Jesus” (2 Tim. 2:1). God hears us exclaim, "But I am so weak, Lord!" but He does not pay any heed to what we mean to indicate by that confession, which is: "Come down on to the ground of my weakness and pick me up!" He says, "You forsake that ground, and come on to the ground of My Son, and you will find strength there." "I am so foolish, Lord!" The Lord says: "You will remain foolish until you get on to the ground of My Son, Who is made unto you wisdom."

…

We take our own ground before the Lord and are surprised that the Lord does not lift us right out of our own ground and put us into a better position, but He never does. We shall stay there forever, if that is our attitude. The Lord’s word to us is: "Forsake your own ground and come on to My ground. I have provided a Heavenly Man Who is full of all that you need; now come on to that ground." It does not matter what you are, or what you are not. There everything is adjusted and made good.

- By T. Austin-Sparks from: The Stewardship of the Mystery, Volume 1 – Chapter 12

And that, my friends, is the way I want to walk – on the ground of Jesus, with Him as my strength.

And now, it’s time to finish getting ready to fly…

Texas here I come!!!! (I still think it’s funny that I get excited about going to that state.)

the splurge | That’s a panda.

 

Remember how I said I traveling and was going to be splurging on something? This was the splurge.

Happy HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION to JoshUA! :)

And yes. That’s a panda. And it’s real. Not stuffed. And we’re holding it.

And no. It’s not a good idea for me to straighten my hair on rainy days because then it looks like this.

And yes. We’re wearing scrubs. Doesn’t Josh look good in them? He’d make a great doctor! :)

random picture post | pinch pagodas

I think I’m going to start doing RANDOM picture posts, whenever I feel like it – like at 2:14am when I can’t sleep so I’m looking at pictures.

Today… I’d like to share with you Ash and my most coveted skill.
It took a long time to perfect.
We can pinch pagodas and dangle them over the water.

13:1,000,000

I live in Asia – a fact I talk about mostly on another blog that I’ve grown tired of writing on. Have you noticed? – I’ve been here 9 months. (9 months? That’s long enough to HAVE A BABY!)

I live in a “small town.” Sure. There are about a million people in this “small” town but just trust me… that’s podunk around these parts. We have to go an hour away to “the city” for McDonald’s or Pizza Hut or Starbucks or … anything western. (Well, okay… we’ve got a couple wannabe western options around. But let’s emphasize the word wannabe.) We make monthly or so trips to stock up on cheese and butter in “the city.” AND we have a total of 13 white faces residing within the million “yellow” faces.

Let’s think about that ratio for a moment.
13:1,000,000.

This weekend, 3 of the 13 of us hopped on a train and went two hours to another big city, one that has lots and lots of westerners and lots and lots of western food and at least 2 imported food stores where we can buy things like Honey Bunches of Oats. AND… get ready to dance with me… they had ONE Diet Dr. Pepper and I bought it! Are you dancing? Seriously. Dance. I did. 9 months since I’ve had one of those puppies! 9 months of thinking about how much I’d LOVE a Diet Dr. Pepper. And this weekend I had one! Wooo. It was soooo good!

We went to a coffee shop, owned by a couple we recently met who live in McKinney, TX… (hey hey… I know where that is!)

Being in an American owned independent coffee shop was a TREAT. I <3 such places. It made me think of my super roommate in Texas – Jen – and our tour of coffee shops around the DFW metroplex… always on the hunt for a cool spot… {Dear Jen, Can we continue that in a few months?}

AND… they had live music… a guitar with a tall American dude with long hair behind it. (P.S. Brit and I have discussed it and guys should not wear headbands. K? K.) HELLO COFFEE SHOP SCENE. You feel like home to me.

My point is… it was delightful… [but...

WE HAD WHITE PEOPLE SHOCK.]

So many white faces. SOOooo many more than 13. All in one room. And… most of them seemed to know each other… and I didn’t know what to do with myself. I just sat there. Staring. Seriously. I wanted to talk to them all. But I couldn’t. I didn’t remember how. Who am I? Thankfully, I knew a couple of them… and they introduced me to a few more… But, really I just kind of needed a night sitting in a corner, listening to someone sing sweet songs while strumming on a guitar…

But the whole thing made me wonder… In August, when I’m in the States after 13 months of being here… will I be that awkward person who just came back from overseas and doesn’t know how to talk to people anymore? I always thought that wouldn’t happen to me. I’m adaptable. I go with the flow. I’m just me. I’m a people person. Wherever I am. (Sure. I’m awkward sometimes. But it’s just because I’m odd.) But maybe… maybe… being one of 13 white faces is actually having a pretty significant effect on me.

I’m not complaining. I like being one of 13 white faces. It’s an adventure; that’s for sure!

Plus… 38 times a day people tell me I’m beautiful... ;)

I’m pretty sure, I’ll have my moments. I’m also pretty sure… I’m always just gonna be me. And sometimes, in some moments, maybe ME will not know what to do when there are more than 13 white people… but I’ll adapt…It’s how I roll.

However, I do NOT think I will be able to adapt to not being told I’m beautiful 38 times a day…
So… You’re gonna have to pick up the slack on that for me friends.

P.S. to readers of “Dear Traveling”

I want you to know… I am very glad I am here. It’s not always easy especially being that I am in – but another – in-between stage. I’m staying in my 7^th place in less than 6 weeks and really my last two months in the US were full of traveling also. I am anxiously anticipating stability and a place to call “home.” I long for depth of community, long-term friendships, and figuring out a “new normal”… but those things will happen, in their proper time. In the meantime, each day is filled with both ups and downs. There are moments that I feel like skipping and can’t stop smiling because I’m so delighted to be where I am! There are sweet moments that I feel my Father’s love enveloping me in ways I’ve never felt it before! There are also moments that I feel like I’m floundering, lost, confused, and completely alone… but they pass. If nothing else, this reality I’m living in is teaching me a lot about the necessity of being FILLED every single day. It’s also teaching me a lot about myself and how much I absolutely need people. I can be independent, but I don’t want to be. I like depending on people and I like being depended on. I love adventure, but what I love most about it is SHARING it with others. I guess this is where perspective is important. There are certainly many elements of sharing this adventure going on: I write. I don’t have internet where I’m staying but I’m able to get on it at some point everyday and when I’m “lucky,” I catch someone from over there on the other side of the world and we chat about life. I’ve made friends here who are living out the same kind of adventure I am – but they are further along in their journey, hopefully I am encouraging them as they are encouraging me. Some of them (particularly a couple who have been here for a year and a half) have been very intentional about helping me through this crazy process, teaching me things that helped them to transition, etc. I really think that THIS is a huge part of why I landed HERE for these three weeks. I’m also making local friends, some of whom are opening their homes to me and sharing meals with me. I have a wonderful opportunity to influence their lives in a way that no one ever has before, while my experiences with them are also influencing MY life.

Honestly, I don’t have a lot to complain about. I’m gaining a lot of experience and… I’m living out dreams. There have been some days that I felt like I was colliding with a wall and part of me just longed to go “home” (though I wasn’t sure where home would be), but being here is worth it. It IS worth it. Not an ounce of me regrets that I’m here. And this little in-between time, it’s really pretty little. It’ll be over soon. I’m just a baby sometimes. J Also, I would not miss deep community so much if I hadn’t experienced the joys of some of the sweetest community the world has to offer. So, thanks to all of you who have blessed my life and made me realize how GREAT knowing and loving people around me can be. I guess it’s time for me to learn, and teach, about that in NEW ways and these days are a step… in a process… that will not be in vain.

This is where I choose to be. And may I just say one more time…

It is WORTH it and I’m very glad to be here.