long slow mornings

Getting out of bed in the mornings seems to be one of the most difficult parts of the day for me. I always plan to get up early and then when the alarm goes off, I think of a long list of reasons why it’s okay for me to sleep more and NOT get up yet. Often, I give in to those excuses. That’s fine, really. I don’t HAVE to get up early and sometimes I probably really do need the sleep.

But today, I got up early – like I planned. It’s been a fantastic morning. Productive… and relaxing! I got ready for the day. I drank my coffee. I cleaned. I read. I talked to a friend in Asia. I’m blogging (which I NEVER do these days) and I still have 20 min before I have to leave for work. I guarantee, I’ll have a better day because of it.

And I keep thinking, “Man. I love long slow mornings! I hate feeling like I’m racing the clock to get out of the door on time! Why do I always do that to myself?” Yet, tomorrow – I’ll probably have the same struggle to get out of bed.

It reminds me of Paul. “For I do not understand my own actions. For xI do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” Oh the flesh. It can be so frustrating.

I’ve been learning more about my spirit… and learning to live in the spirit rather than the flesh or the soul, is like actually taking the time to enjoy a long and slow morning. It’s just better that way.

… That’s my story for today. Now for a few more minutes of reading before I head to work!

FREEDOM

Oh my word. It’s April 22nd. Time has flown. And I have disappeared (from here).

Life has been busy with work, moving, relationships, and a variety of adventures.

And I’ve been LEARNING. A lot.

And I’ve learned that, sometimes, learning happens so deep within you that you can’t really express it – at least not in a neat and clean way that can be compiled into letters and words and sentences and paragraphs of blog posts.

But I’m having a fabulous time, living a stunningly beautiful mess of a life of learning that is filled with Jesus, His body, lots and lots of love, and lots of letting go of the old and embracing the new.

One of the NEW themes/realities of my life is… FREEDOM. I don’t mean the freedom that comes from living in America. That’s… ya know… whatever. I mean, the FREEDOM that comes from living in CHRIST! (He, Jesus Christ, IS Freedom – by the way. There is no freedom apart from Him.) It’s not just a concept or a fact. It’s something to be known and experienced. And it is an experience that just kinda makes you wanna dance (even if you aren’t “good” at it)! :)

And speaking of FREEDOM… This guy is in Nashville and I’m going to see him tonight…

If something’s on your mind

Say what you need to say

And if you need to make a change

Go on and walk away

If something’s in your heart

You gotta let it out

Go on and show the whole wide world

What you are all about

I didn’t take a break from blogging on purpose, but I think it was purposeful. Jesus knew. I didn’t. I had to learn to live in Freedom (Christ), and to rest in it (in Him), before I tried to express things… before I was ready to let the world know what I’m all about.

Talk to you soon. :)

Jesus worked it out – beautifully!

On January 1st, I wrote a list of things I wanted and needed to do during 2012. Two months in, I’m glad to report 3 of those things have now happened!

I bought a car.

I moved to Nashville.

And today…

I got a job.

One of my friends said to me today, “Hey! Remember that one time that you wanted to move to Nashville but you didn’t know how… and Jesus totally worked it out!?” I laughed and said, “Yeah! I remember! And yes, Jesus worked it out – beautifully!”

I’ve been learning, increasingly – for a while now, about my identity. I’ve said for a really long time that my identity was found in Christ. But, if I’m honest, I was looking for my identity in Christ AND in my doing (for Him). That’s changed. I now know that my identity IS Christ and nothing else. “Christ in you, the hope of glory” is my identity and my LIFE. (Colossians 1:27)

Throughout this process of moving and job hunting, this knowledge of identity has given me such freedom. It has reminded me that I am enough and that I don’t have to prove myself. I am free to BE as I am and whose I am, because Christ has placed His life in me and it is Him who brought me here, and He will provide for all of my needs in this new place, and always.

When Christ is everything, there is such rest and peace.  [He always is everything. We just need to recognize and live in that truth.] There is always provision and no reason for worry. (I have my moments of forgetting that, but it’s nonetheless true!)

… but we choose to stay in ours. | Narnia

I decided it’s time to read through the Chronicles of Narnia again. I’m starting this time with Magician’s Nephew. And I’ve been thinking a lot about a line that little Digory says:

There’s not much point in finding a magic ring that lets you into other worlds if you’re afraid to look at them when you’ve got there.

It seems to apply to so much in my life right now and to life in general.

So often we want to live meaningful adventures, and yet we stand frozen with fears or apprehensions when adventurous possibilities stare us in the face.

We want the benefits without the risk or hard choices or sacrifices that will be needed to get to them.

And so often…

God opens up His World to us, but we choose to stay in ours.

WHY

do

we

do

that

?

as I more fully understand the words

I’ve been reading a lot lately, which isn’t unusual or surprising for anyone who knows me. But it’s been different. As I’m reading lately there are often tears that fall onto the pages of my book [or my kindle screen]. I see the wetness and THEN I realize I’m crying, unaware. Something about these words is stirring a longing in my soul that moves me to tears. It’s intense and beautiful.

I’m learning something about why I love, and need, words. You see, I’m wired this way. I need words first. For example, love/affection expressed without an explanation in words just confuse me. Without words, I have no idea what a hug means, or what a gift is for. I like them. I appreciate them. But I have no idea how to understand them. If a hug comes with the words, “I have missed you so much!” or “It is so good to see you!” or “Thank you for being here! It means so much to me!” then the hug takes on a life that wraps me up in warmth. Without those explaining words, I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to do with the hug – how I’m supposed to understand it. If I’m given a nice gift, I appreciate it… but if it comes with a card that tells me why the giver cared enough to buy me a gift – that’s going to be the thing that I treasure: The reason. The words. The meaning in the words that are expressed through the gift.

And this is why I’m moved to tears so often lately, because I’m reading Scripture and books that talk about Scripture – about Jesus! And… It’s not that I’ve never read any of it before… But there’s something going on in the way I’m learning to hear and receive and understand the meaning of the words…

And this love/affection God has been expressing, forever, is coming more alive to me as I more fully understand the words…

Oh, how thankful I am for words…