thankful for 2011

2011 is wrapping up at, what feels like, an accelerated speed.

Tonight I thought back to what my life was like 1 year ago… It looked a lot like this and I was THOUSANDS of miles away from where I am now.

2011 has been a year full of some serious ups and downs. Like … seriously.

I think it’s probably safe to say that there haven’t been many years in my life that I cried as much as I did this one…

But I think it’s also pretty safe to say that I’ve laughed as much as ever!

My favorite part of this year has been Jesus. Seriously. I’m not saying that because I “should.” I’m saying it because it’s REAL. — I can’t explain it in a line or two or even ten but, this year Jesus has shown me things about LIFE IN HIM that I never saw before. And I know that there’s so much MORE to see…

So, I’m approaching the end of the year really rather thankful for 2011… for all the ups and downs… for the tears and the laughs… for the miles… and for the way I’m coming out of it all on the other side, with Jesus (and some REALLY awesome people, too).

6 things | a numbered list of life and randomness

1. Is anyone else having ridiculous allergy issues lately? Do you know how to make them stop? Please tell me!

2. I’m up to running almost 4 miles. Someone clap for me! Now the question is… Should I or shouldn’t I sign up for a half marathon in April? I’ll let you know what I decide when it gets closer.

3. For Christmas, I got a lot of warm things. Here in San Diego, it’s been 80 degrees a few times this week. IN DECEMBER. Ridiculous. So, when I begin plans of moving somewhere, one of my family’s main concerns tends to be the weather. “It’s going to be so hot!” “It’s going to be so cold!” “How will you survive their weather!?” We’re spoiled here, ya know?  So, my family tries to equip me for more “extreme” temperatures when I move to other places… like Nashville.

4. Yes folks. That’s the latest news in my life. I have decided to move to Nashville. The details are still very much in the process. I’m applying for jobs and looking for ways to “make it work.” Mostly I’m just saying, “YES!” to where Jesus is taking me and I’m rather excited about the adventures that await… (and sometimes also a little freaked out by the number of unknowns involved… but that’s living, right?)

5. Read any good books lately? Not that I don’t already have 100 or so I’m intending to read… But, what were your favorite reads of the year?  (This is not a rhetorical question. I really want to know!) I’ll tell you mine soon!

6. Speaking of reading… I don’t know if you’ve noticed this or not but, I’m a big fan of blogs. Here are some you should look at:

• Nerds, regular people, and overall lifetime happiness @ 22 Words (one of my favorite spots for random entertainment on the internet)
• Junk mail collage #2 @ Found Objects (Emily is so random and creative and just all around FUN)
• Sticks and Stones @ Hands Wide Open (Jon has a lot of important things to say on the subject of bullying. I think you should take some time to “listen” to him.)
• The Year in Pictures: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 @ The Boston Globe’s The Big Picture (my favorite place for news photography)

clarity // TRUST

Have you ever said, “Pray for me to have clarity.” or “I just need God to give me clarity about what I’m supposed to do.” or “I can’t move forward until I have more clarity.”

Chances are, you’ve picked up on that language and that idea over the years if you’ve run in Jesus loving circles. But, I’m starting to wonder if we’ve really gotten this idea FROM Jesus, or if we just made up this “need for clarity” on our own.

I’ve been reading a book called Ruthless Trust: The Ragamuffin’s Path to God. In it Brennan Manning recounts a story of a man (John Kavanaugh) who spent some time working alongside of Mother Teresa. She asked him one day, “And what can I do for you?” and his response was “Pray that I have clarity.” Mother Teresa’s response was an immediate and emphatic, “No, I will not do that.” She explained to him the reasons why she would not pray such a prayer: “Clarity is the last thing you are clinging to and must let go of. […] I have never had clarity; what I have always had is trust. So I will pray that you trust God.”

Manning goes on to say that…

Craving clarity, we attempt to eliminate the risk of trusting God. Fear of the unknown path stretching ahead of us destroys childlike trust in the Father’s active goodness and unrestricted love.

“We ourselves have known and put our trust in God’s love toward ourselves” (1 John 4:16). We have a God who LOVES us, no less than he loves the men and women listed in Scripture. Think about Hebrews 11 and the list of people of great faith it contains. Think about their stories. Do you think they had clarirty? I had never thought through that before, but stopping to think about that… No. They lived in great uncertainty and confusion never knowing what was going to happen next or how exactly it was all going to work out … but in the midst of that they found great faith… great trust in the God they knew was with them… and that TRUST took them beyond their unclear circumstances and into LIFE with God!

Manning, Brennan (2010-10-12). Ruthless Trust: The Ragamuffin’s Path to God (pp. 5-6). Harper Collins, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

{random picture post} | nothing really… but soooooo much!

Ommm… It’s December 14th! December is nearly half over. How did that happen? And how have I not blogged, AT all, in December so far!? I’m sure a lot of you are really disappointed with me. ;)

I went to Riverside and Anaheim this past weekend to see some dear friends from college days! Some of them asked questions like: “So, what’s going on?” or “What’s new?” or “What have you been up to?”

My initial answer usually comes in the form of a vague statement like, “Ohhhh… nothing really… but soooooo much!” Which of course leads to a lot more questions and required explanations about the mysteries of the life of Shanda. My life really does baffle people at times. It baffles me too. Don’t you worry. But I also love it. Which makes sense, seeing as how it’s the life I’m choosing to live…

Anyway, it is that “Ohhhh… nothing really… but soooooo much!” … that is making writing blog posts challenging. I’m still in a bit of a holding pattern. But I now know where I’m headed. I just haven’t figured out quite yet HOW I’m getting there. But I’m working on it. And waiting and trusting. (More on that in a later post. Coming soon. I promise!)

For now, I’m going to start with an easy photo dump/random picture post in which I will tell you a little bit about lately and remind you myself that I have a blog.

1. 2.

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5. 6.

7.  8.

9. 10.

11. 12.

1. Chitty (my car) seems to have bit the dust. 2. I flew to TX and so did my Asia Roommate Ashley. I took her to In N Out! She loved it! 3. Ashley and I went to Kirsten and Daniel’s wedding in Dallas. (Kirsten is an Asia family member!) 4 and 5. I enjoyed some Texas sunsets. 6. I enjoyed some colorful leaves on my way to the airport to fly back to CA. I know Texas doesn’t REALLY get all the seasons, but they do have more than San Diego does. And I miss that. 7. My brother, Ben, played the piano like Ray Charles. 8. I drank a “local latte” that reminded me much of “the Tommy,” which may or may not mean something to you. It was made with local Tennessee honey and cinnamon. (This is a clue.) 9. I flew AGAIN and enjoyed the view from above the clouds, which STILL feels like a metaphor for my current state in life. 10 and 11. Lindsey took me on a geocaching adventure as a bit of a birthday extravaganza (a few weeks after my birthday). The adventure involved exploring a park and the back of a Target building, maybe looking under trash cans and around high voltage boxes and feeling through spider webs. Walking back and forth and back and forth looking for anything that might be our geocaching treasure while watching our conflicting compasses (gps on our phones) tell us that it wasn’t quite sure where we should go but that we were CLOSE. And while this all sounds kind of… not that great… and we kind of failed… It really was quite fun! I plan to geocache again soon! 12. I took more pictures of sunsets. Apparently, I like those.